I am still fun
That’s me with my friend who is the Master of Ceremonies for an event called Cornyation that is part of Fiesta in San Antonio. Its difficult to describe Fiesta…I have lived here for over 15 years, off and on, and I still have no idea what the point of the whole thing is. During college is was an excuse to party as hard as possible for ten straight days. When my kids were younger it seemed too hard to go all the way downtown just to party. But I always made it to a few events every year. I usually drank too much. I think I had fun.
This is my first sober Fiesta. I wanted to go to Cornyation because a big group of my theatre friends were doing skits. Cornyation is…I have no idea what it is… and I attended two days ago.
Its sort of theatre. Sort of.
I pulled this off the Cornyation Facebook page:
“This is it, cornheads. Tonight begins King Anchovy XLVII, (Duh — the 47th) Andrew Weissman’s reign over The Court of Never Ending Endings! Enjoy the show, but please DO NOT throw your panties onto the stage.”
Rumor has it that Cornyation has been nearly pulled out of the line up of Fiesta events for being too raunchy. The website says, “The show’s irreverent, pokes at politicians, the prominent and the not-so-prominent”. Much of the show is done in Drag. That’s all I knew and it sounded fun to me. I also heard people dress up…and I love dressing up. So I put on a costume, kissed my family goodbye and headed out.
I have always known that I was fun. I am an actress for goodness sake. I like being the center of attention…and being the drunkest person at every event has probably contributed to my popularity in that regard. But this year, no drinking. I wasn’t really sure how that was going to go. So I went with a friend who has a great sense of humor and could care less about drinking. This woman makes me laugh so hard I can barely stand it. She had a few glasses of wine at dinner…I had a rare indulgence…a MEXICAN coke. (that’s how wild I was feeling…an entire bottle of…not just coke…but MEXICAN Coke…of yeah, I was ready to PAR Tee.)
When we arrived at the event location the line to enter the theater covered two city blocks. Seriously…two city blocks. And the people in that line…well you could smell the alcohol wafting off them. I am not kidding here, you could actually smell alcohol emanating from the line. And the people in the line, well they were really, really funny. This is coming from a sober person. The collective energy of the people in that line…I can’t describe it very well….but it was something about the anticipation, maybe influenced by the collective intoxication. There was another fiesta event ending as CORNYATION was beginning. The event letting out was filled with super wealthy fancy socialite types in formal attire entering sidewalks blocked by hundreds of the city’s fringe community of artists, gays, lesbians, many of them (on both sides) highly intoxicated. It reminded me of the Dr. Suess story called The Zax.
Only no one seemed to mind…no one was angry. Everyone was smiley and happy. And I was smiley and happy. The vibe was fun and my sobriety wasn’t bothering me one bit. As we entered the building I noticed several signs that said, “No Beach Balls, No tortillas, No Silly String”. I wandered what I had gotten myself into but I felt hopeful and excited.
So how was it? It was pretty awful. A couple of the skits were funny, one even bordered on intelligent. The vast majority just contained people in drag, dancing around on stage, and telling “stories” that didn’t make any sense at all. The people watching was cool. At intermission I walked with my friend to the bar and watched several groups doing shots together. I wondered how drunk I would have gotten if I were still drinking. I marveled at the drinking and wondered if the hangover was worth it…the one they would all have the next morning. After the show, we found a man standing outside the ladies room yelling, “panda bear?”. We found panda bear barfing in the stall next to mine and I laughed…at her…not with her. (sorry at panda bear…but really, who the heck goes by the name panda bear?)
By the time we made it to the car, I had a laughter headache. I laughed so much and so hard that it actually gave me a headache. I was up too late and I was super tired the next day. I could barely function to take care of my kids but it was entirely from lack of sleep, I didn’t have a hangover at all.
But what was really lovely was that I discovered that I am still fun. I honestly wasn’t sure I would be fun sober. I have never tried it before. I gotta tell you, its such a relief to discover that. It sounds kind of silly but it was one of my fears…that no one would like me if I wasn’t the party girl anymore. But two nights ago…I owned my blog name.
I am the SOBER PARTY GIRL.
Sigh of relief.